Make or Break
by Lies.And.Distraction
Summary: The silence is shattered by a gunshot- the shot you thought he wouldn't take.


The silence is shattered by a gunshot- the shot you thought he wouldn't take, and for a moment, you freeze as the sound echoes through the chamber- and then you realize that you feel no pain, though you should be dead.

But you're perfectly fine. You relax, consider option two- he missed. He's not a marksman, after all. He spent most of his time battling in close quarters, quick, physical attacks that were just as dangerous for him as they were for the Noise. But he's looking at you and he doesn't seem surprised, doesn't lift the gun to shoot again (he has it hanging loosely at his side, fingers just tight enough that it doesn't slip out of them).

Option three, which you also didn't expect- he missed on purpose. He shot, but aimed elsewhere. At the ground just to your left. There's a chip in the stone, and the remains of the bullet lie out of sight.

He's not even trying to stop the tears from sliding down his face. You almost regret it, but close yourself off a bit so you can do what you need to do without the emotional struggle (oh, how long it's been since you had to worry about anything like that. He certainly was a good choice of Proxy.).

"Is that your answer?" you ask, lips curling up. _You're a monster_, he said, and let him believe it. You know what you're going to do now, and those plans don't involve him. Better for him to think of you as someone he can't stand than as someone he misses. "My, my... What an interesting one it is. You're willing to give up Shibuya for my sake?"

Something inside you twists at that, desperately claws to get to the surface, but you force it back down.

"Is that... really what I'm doing?" Neku asks, quiet and choked, but sure. You stare at him, not comprehending, and he meets your eyes. He blinks a few times, sends a new cascade of tears down his cheeks. "Is that really what you've decided?"

_Of course it is_, you might say, but you can't bring yourself to. The surety in his eyes leaves you speechless- somehow, though he knows everything now, he believes you won't do what you've been working towards all this time. He thinks that you won't destroy Shibuya, won't kill him. Though you've tricked him and betrayed him and tricked him again, he honestly trusts you. Just as much as his other Partners.

Even considering the stakes at hand.

"Why should I decide anything different?" you ask blandly, though your heart is pounding uncomfortably quickly. Neku is the last person who ought to have become attached to you- but somehow you've become important to him. You don't understand. You don't _want_ to understand- distance, distance, it's what you've had for years and what you need. It's part of the job. It's inevitable. This isn't how it's supposed to go.

"You know why," Neku says, surer of himself with every second. "You've _seen_ why. You were with me that whole second week. People aren't- aren't all bad, or useless, or selfish. There are good people. People who deserve to live good lives here. Why take that away?"

"Maybe I'm just tired," you say, softly but seriously. "Maybe I'm just sick of humanity and selfish enough to do something about it." You're not a good person. He needs to know this. He _should_ know this by now- but he chuckles.

You stare as he sniffs, wipes his face with his free hand- and when he looks up again, he's smiling. "You think so? ...I don't. You remember helping people- or trying, at least- even when it wasn't related to the missions?"

"It was logical," you murmur. "The Noise would have gotten to us eventually, anyway."

"But we could have waited until then instead of jumping in and trying to save them. If you wanted them dead, you would have insisted we keep going." You remain silent, and he continues. "You protected me. Even if it was so you could win this fucked up Game with Shades, even if you knew you'd be all right and left me thinking you died for me, you still protected me."

"That only says something about you," you point out, face even, and he realizes that you never dropped your gun about then- stares straight down at the barrel.

"You know what really gives you away?" he asks softly. You make a questioning noise, half wary, but don't say anything. His smile goes tight, and he pulls his eyes away from your gun, holds up his own. "This. Maybe you are tired. But if you really wanted to destroy Shibuya, you would have done it. You wouldn't have given me the chance to take over."

"You've rejected that chance," you say. "Maybe you were Shibuya's last hope. What if I don't want to be Composer anymore, and destroy Shibuya just so I don't have to deal with it anymore?"

"Will you?" he asks, and the smile is gone, but the surety still shines in his eyes. He believes in you, and that belief burns and leaves you unsteady and lost.

But you smile. You take a deep breath, but your only answer comes in the form of another gunshot.


End file.
